I don’t do much that is exclusive to this blog. Usually, I am just mirroring content from the original Veiled Witch blog. Today, however, I wanted to throw something up here just for my WordPress readers. I will warn you, however, this is not going to be as conventional as you expect. This is also something more about myself as a person.
I have kept it quiet for a while and I don’t blog much about it. I am a godspouse to Freyr. Most of the time, we are pretty much low key about things. He comes around in the late afternoon through the evening, most days. It’s like he is getting back from work or something. We’ll watch cat videos on Youtube, listen to music, or otherwise do stuff that most couples would to just to relax and spend time together. He’s taken an interest in my writing and has joyfully offered to be something of a muse for some very specific work. He also will give me suggestions for how to improve projects I’m working on. (It is very… grisly suggestions for how to make battle scenes more accurate of late because that’s what I’ve been struggling with in my present novel. It reminds me very intensely that he is a warrior as well as everything else.)
There are times, however, where things get intense between him and I. Sometimes it is because I’m being stubborn about something foolish and he’s fed up with it. Sometimes it is because he feels like rattling my proverbial cage to give me a quick thrill. And then there are times like what happened a little while back. It doesn’t happen every day that he will reveal new facets of himself that are so very different from what I see on a daily basis.
Most of the time, Freyr is very calm. He is affectionate. He is the voice of reason when my anxiety is running riot. He is one of the ones who is encouraging me to make progress on the various things I’m working on in my therapy stuff, at times even giving solutions for problems I get stuck on. You could say that he is the stillness in the maelstrom that is my life sometimes.
And then he will surprise me. He has made clear to me that he is participating in the Hunt this season. He’s encouraged me to do so as well. As I’ve been doing a lot of ‘shadow’ work on myself, he’s commented that it still counts as being on the Hunt. So, I was a little surprised but not too shocked when I had a dream/vision of him on the Hunt.
The surprise came in the intensity that I experienced that vision and the aspect of himself that it revealed. Intellectually, I grasped the idea and was comfortable with the concept of him as a warrior deity. I’ll be honest, it is one of those things about him that I find appealing on several different levels. Running smack into that, however, caught me off guard. The few times where he’s let me see what I now realize was only a tiny portion of this aspect of himself, it was all a very calm affair.
That vision, however, was not calm in any sense of the term. Looking back on it, I still find myself caught in this dynamic tension between the urge to bolt if I am caught in that burning gaze again and the wild bit of recklessness that says I should try my hand at playing with that fire. He’s told me that I am too cautious. Perhaps I should make a point of letting that bit of recklessness out more often. It would be an educational experience, that’s for sure.