I’ve been struggling with this for a little while now. If you’ve seen my posts on my other blog I have been stumbling along the path of godspousery. In the midst of a couple of really rough days, I asked Ingvi who I was to him. Rather than turning the question back on me, he looked at me for a long moment. Then he said one word, love.
I wasn’t sure how to take his answer. It confused me, to be honest. Then I realized, love is in pretty much everything I do. Each act I take, I do it for love’s sake. Be it the love of family, friends, humanity at large, or the gods, it is done in love. There have been some arguments between myself and Ingvi (and Loki) about how I treat myself. It was with some shame that I realized that I was treating someone who they loved (who many other P/people who are important in my life love) terribly.
I’m striving to fix that. But, that light of love, it shines everywhere. I am wounded and I am afraid to allow that light to shine on myself for fear of seeing those wounds. This, however, is no longer an option. So, I press forward and try to look upon myself with the eyes of love. Because, all that is right in this world, moves for the sake of love.
In my love for Freyr, I am actively working to correct my self worth issues. If not for my own sake, then as a love-gift to him who asks only that I love him.